Where to begin, so much to say and time is precious.

Somebody's Son by Marcia Layne is a play, a piece of theatre. It's not life and death. Nobody has died, well not in this play anyway.

Last week I returned home late one night, to be greeted by my beloved family. Still supporting me and still checking if everything had gone well with the show.

My husband gave my weary face a gentle kiss and went to bed, whilst our eldest son stayed with me and shared his food.

We did the wind down together, the bit where (if all went well) you take time to come down off the ceiling where you've been flying around (if it didn't go so well then it helps you dig yourself out of the pit). This place, this high (or low) can be a strong force.  Coming around to the real world can be hard without good people around to catch you, to check you have arrived safely and are still on your own two feet. Washing up or some such task usually reminds you of who you are, others may take a slightly different relaxation route.

Eating does it for me. I looked up from my meal and looked at our eldest sons face. In the play there is a line 'A my son dat'  I paused. In the light of our kitchen I saw that his face had changed. This was so shocking I had to look away. Our sons face had changed.

Excuse me?

No.

So, let's get this straight, in order to make a good show of your work you have to sacrifice your sons face? Home life and generally living like a human being?

God willing, I intend to continue on this path of making good strong work and collaborating with Artists near and far. It's what I do, but there must be a better way.

I understand the long days and late nights you have to put in to get close to the quality that we strive for. My husband built and runs Axis Sound System a Vintage Reggae Sound. He works hard, he's a grafter. There are so many elements to what he does and they all have to go in the right order. Maintenance of equipment, promoting the gigs, entertaining the people etc, etc. We have been on the road with him at festivals each summer across the country. We have grown up at festivals. I understand.

Striving for that same quality in our production week at Hidden Gems Productions can be one of the most intense times of any production. You emerge from rehearsals blinky eyed, nearly ready to share with the world and stepping back from the work still dabbing here and there. You have to ensure a fine balance of getting everything done and not over tiring the cast and crew. You have to know when to leave it alone.

Before this moment there is the rehearsal period where you can either fly or fall.

And of course there are the infinite hours, days, months and perhaps years of working towards making it all happen.

Hidden Gems Productions have made this happen with the Writer (Marcia Layne) Director (Amanda Huxtable) and Producing team (The both of us and Associate Producer Milan Govedarica) and an amazing cast and crew. A  middle scale theatre tour with the support of Arts Council England and the Split Infinitive trust.

As well as this support there is another element that is priceless, precious and beyond words.

In our programme for Somebody's Son it says thank you to our family and friends. They say that bit at the Oscars and Baftas with tears in their eyes, but trust me its incredible anyone in this business has any family and friends left! While busy pursuing your dreams you could become a nightmare.

I took the long road. It's taken me a month shy of my 40th birthday to get here making mid scale work of our own. Perhaps it took a while because I went home and not to the bar? When our sons were much, much smaller I had a lack of interest in hanging out at the bar, It was never as fun or as beautiful as my own sons' faces. What about the men in this business who have children, is it different for them? Or has this nothing to do with gender nowadays? Does it have to be one person holding up the sky at home and or scary childcare fees and what if you are the only parent at home? Makes me think about another great line from the play 'Big up to all the single mothers dem'.

This is what I do, this is how we do it,we are learning more and more and cutting out the foolishness.  If I'm asking of my family to support me while I pursue my work and vision and then you better believe I'm striving to deliver something special, worthwhile and long-lasting with Hidden Gems Productions and all of my work.

Thankfully this work is strong. Marcia Layne has written a very special script in Somebody's Son. One that we have been blessed to work with and after the hard work put in by the cast and crew one I had the pleasure of sitting down with my sons to watch together. We shared in the jokes and the stories for a lifetime. The work may end with the tour, the memories are forever.

In the pursuit of a better way I think I've come closer than ever to finding the way that works for us.  After thinking it through that night, we found a way that both allowed me to work and spend precious hours with our boys. This was a joyful place.

On this latest Hidden Gems Productions tour I've watched Somebody's Son with my family and friends, and hundreds of people I don't know and I'm very glad they came.

Please come and join us if you can.

If you can make it here's a link to the Box office info;

http://www.hiddengemsproductions.co.uk/current-production.php

Last word goes out to my sons, with the understanding that as special as this work is, the best thing I have ever made, will ever make in my entire life, without a shadow of a doubt is you both and of course I didn't do that on my own either.

Looking forward to our continued path together and giving thanks every time.